Sunday, May 4, 2008


Hey! It's me! I'm Big Sky Bully! I'm Jason! Two weeks to go, friends, then it's back to that Montana Holy Land, twenty miles south of the Canadian border, at the alter of the Crown of the Continent! The town, St. Mary, does not exist on my 2004, Rand McNally map; it is about six miles south of Babb, though, at the northeast entrance to Glacier National Park at Going-to-the-Sun Road. My "occupation": I'll be carrying Touron (mathematically: Tourist + Moron = Touron) luggage up and down flights of stairs at St. Mary Lodge, always smiling, fingers secretly crossed for big tips. I'll also be able to, practically speaking, explain the do's and don'ts of bear safety; what to do, and what not to do, when, on a hike, you stumble upon a moody, yet well-meaning, protective, eight hundred-pound momma grizzly and her cubs. Two weeks to go! Hopefully this 'Tana adventure will be more fruitful than the 2005 Big Sky fuck-up. If you don't know about that, well, it's a long story. All I'll say is this: Twisted Tea. I blame it all on that alcohol-spiked sweet tea. It'll make you sloppy and you'll have to have a meeting with management at eight the next morning ... next thing you know, it's sixty hours later and you're in Corolla, North Carolina, and you're uncorking a three-dollar bottle of champagne at three in the morning in the pouring rain.

So, two more weeks in Pittsburgh. Here is what I, we, will do before I leave for the summer:
- Friday, May 9: Brain Handle, Kim Phuc, and Under Pressure at the Rock Room!
- Saturday, May 10: Slices, Not Today, Under Pressure and us, GLUED-UP AND SPEEDING, at Roboto! Matty (ex-Black Tie Revue and current Rock Room regular and beagle-owner) will be sitting in on drums for us since Champagne Steve is disabled for a few more weeks with a broken collar bone. This is a one-time deal and our last show until September! Come support us!
- Sunday, May 11: A rager/potluck at my house! I’ll provide the beer, boxed-wine, and tomato juice and vodka to make bloody mary's if you bring the food! This will be at two in the afternoon! After, we’ll go see Caustic Christ, Hard Skin, and Fucked Up at Belvedere’s! What a day! What a weekend!

Other things to do before I go:
- Polish Hill bar crawl: Donny’s then Rock Room then Sarney’s then Gooski’s then … the Young Men's Polish Association bar and pool hall!
- Climb the climbing wall with Joseph in Point Breeze.
- Create and eat the mythical South Oakland pie at the Wall!
- Ride and camp at Ohiopyle (or the South Side).
- Climb Canton Avenue ... the steepest street in the world!
- The Allegheny River rope swing (weather pending)!
- Race the Washington Boulevard Crit. on May 12.
- Ride the PMVC ride on May 11.
- Pirates vs. Giants: day baseball on May 8!

I'm amped on life! Lets make it rain! Less than two weeks until I get back to that Montana heaven!

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