Sunday, May 18, 2008

Blackfeet Security Guard: "Where are you going?"
Me: "Well, um, I'm just going up there to the employee area."
Blackfeet Security Guard: "Let me give you a ride."
Me: "No, it's cool, I can just walk. I'm all about walking."
Blackfeet Security Guard: "No, I'll give you a ride. There's been a mountain lion sighting up here. No one should walk by themselves at night."
Me: "Okay, cool."

Monday, May 12, 2008

You are invited

A few more days to go. I’m amazed by all the things I’ve accumulated. Cleaning out a house you've lived in for two years sucks. The party went okay: thirty people in my tiny house at one time with a keg on the porch and gin in the freezer and people throwing shit in the ceiling fans in cool. I guess. I have more friends than I thought I did. The show was awesome. People seemed to like us. Now we take three months off from playing; a great formula for success in rock 'n' roll. Me, Eric, and Rob rode out to Breezeview to climb the infamous Canton Avenue, otherwise known as “The Steepest Street in the World.” You can watch Steve fall climbing the street at this YouTube link: It took me two times; I made it up the second time. I’m pretty happy about that. I leave on Thursday; I’m scared and excited and ready. Tonight might be a good night for the South Oakland pie: a plain Antoon’s pizza, topped with Original fries and ketchup, topped with a Chipolte vegetarian burrito. You’re invited.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

It snowed there today

Two inches of snow fell on St. Mary today. Awesome? Awesome! I find comfort in the contrasts. I love shorts; I'll wear gloves well into June! I'd love to shovel the walkway on Memorial Day. I'd rather earn seven dollars an hour shoveling snow in late May than messenger again. I've spent the week camping in my parent's backyard. My sleeping bag kept me warm when it dipped under thirty a few nights ago. Check. As a joke, my father "forgot" to turn the sprinkler system off last night. The good news is that my tent is as water-proof as advertised! As soon as I get the "touring" bike built, I'm ready to go!

I spent the night as Chris' Uptown, Manhattan, scratch again last night. Cold beers, no limes, on the fire escape. We listened to the "Reminds Me A-a Bronx Basement" mix I made more than two years ago. Johnny Ace, Eric Dolphy, Grant Green, Horace Silver. (When Chris lived in the Bronx we made music in the basement one night. I got a concussion. When I came to, there was a party all around me: girls grinding, feral kittens, the door was wide open, it was January.) The New York night glowed a hazy orange. Chris said something about calculating how many times a year the street lamp across the street clicks on, then off, then on again. Below us, three men, two women, paced nervously, picked through the garbage, bought crack, then half-jogged toward Broadway, toward Riverside Park. At a point, more than thirty Columbia students paraded down the block, protesting or partying. We watched "Dude," the block watchman, buy a bag, too. I said something like, "The last forty-eight hours are the hardest. The only thing harder is the last twenty-four." I followed that with, "Sex is only two things: pleasure and guilt. It's nothing more." I left my cell phone there, too.

Monday, May 5, 2008

At the Wycoff DMV

Today, at the DMV -- the Department of Motor Vehicles -- while I was renewing my license, a woman, who was distraught because she was convinced she had the proper identification for a new license, but according to the clerk did not, reached across the counter, tried to choke the clerk, and proceeded to scream, "You fucking nigger! You're a fucking nigger!" An undercover cop dragged her out, then more police showed up. As I was leaving, she was still fighting with the police, telling them she was going to "press charges."

Interestingly, I was in and out with a new license in about ten minutes, a new record for me.

Sunday, May 4, 2008


Hey! It's me! I'm Big Sky Bully! I'm Jason! Two weeks to go, friends, then it's back to that Montana Holy Land, twenty miles south of the Canadian border, at the alter of the Crown of the Continent! The town, St. Mary, does not exist on my 2004, Rand McNally map; it is about six miles south of Babb, though, at the northeast entrance to Glacier National Park at Going-to-the-Sun Road. My "occupation": I'll be carrying Touron (mathematically: Tourist + Moron = Touron) luggage up and down flights of stairs at St. Mary Lodge, always smiling, fingers secretly crossed for big tips. I'll also be able to, practically speaking, explain the do's and don'ts of bear safety; what to do, and what not to do, when, on a hike, you stumble upon a moody, yet well-meaning, protective, eight hundred-pound momma grizzly and her cubs. Two weeks to go! Hopefully this 'Tana adventure will be more fruitful than the 2005 Big Sky fuck-up. If you don't know about that, well, it's a long story. All I'll say is this: Twisted Tea. I blame it all on that alcohol-spiked sweet tea. It'll make you sloppy and you'll have to have a meeting with management at eight the next morning ... next thing you know, it's sixty hours later and you're in Corolla, North Carolina, and you're uncorking a three-dollar bottle of champagne at three in the morning in the pouring rain.

So, two more weeks in Pittsburgh. Here is what I, we, will do before I leave for the summer:
- Friday, May 9: Brain Handle, Kim Phuc, and Under Pressure at the Rock Room!
- Saturday, May 10: Slices, Not Today, Under Pressure and us, GLUED-UP AND SPEEDING, at Roboto! Matty (ex-Black Tie Revue and current Rock Room regular and beagle-owner) will be sitting in on drums for us since Champagne Steve is disabled for a few more weeks with a broken collar bone. This is a one-time deal and our last show until September! Come support us!
- Sunday, May 11: A rager/potluck at my house! I’ll provide the beer, boxed-wine, and tomato juice and vodka to make bloody mary's if you bring the food! This will be at two in the afternoon! After, we’ll go see Caustic Christ, Hard Skin, and Fucked Up at Belvedere’s! What a day! What a weekend!

Other things to do before I go:
- Polish Hill bar crawl: Donny’s then Rock Room then Sarney’s then Gooski’s then … the Young Men's Polish Association bar and pool hall!
- Climb the climbing wall with Joseph in Point Breeze.
- Create and eat the mythical South Oakland pie at the Wall!
- Ride and camp at Ohiopyle (or the South Side).
- Climb Canton Avenue ... the steepest street in the world!
- The Allegheny River rope swing (weather pending)!
- Race the Washington Boulevard Crit. on May 12.
- Ride the PMVC ride on May 11.
- Pirates vs. Giants: day baseball on May 8!

I'm amped on life! Lets make it rain! Less than two weeks until I get back to that Montana heaven!