P.D.A.

Gooski's rules: No P.D.A., no wagging of tongues while saddled-up to the bar. Punishment for your infraction: Being spit-balled and loudly heckled by the grossed-out, blacking-out bar flys. I've heard a couple or two has been shown the door by the bouncer for necking in the dark, cave-like booths that line the side wall. Me and some girl once got ketchup packets chucked at us and a stern warning from the bartender to cool it or take it home. Her head was resting on my shoulder. We sheepishly apologized, finished our drinks, and took it home.

But tonight I'm not at Gooski's, I'm not even in Pittsburgh. Tonight we're at some hip karaoke-sushi bar in SE, D.C. Tonight those rules don't apply.